I know, I am getting tired only posting about depressing things. And yet again, it has been a few months since my last post and I will admit I am far from having anything joyful to talk about. Although in general, life has been somewhat strenuous for me and my wife for the past 4-5 years (since we moved from CA to WA), the past 18 months have just brought us to probably the lowest I've ever thought I could be at.
I know, you are probably saying "enough with the whining already". And I can't agree more. But part of the idea behind keeping a blog for me is an outlet to vent. And quite honestly, besides my wife who is i the same boat as I am, I do not have a lot of people in my life I can just spill my guts. Out.
So there it is... My up to date story, from best to worst...
JOB
On the bright side, I really enjoy my position within the Media Center Extender team. Although my schedule has been quite busy, there has been several new and interesting developments. Of course, since most of it is not announced, I cannot really mention much, at least nothing specific.
Part of my current work includes changes to the installation procedure (we call it FRUN for First-Run) for extenders within Media Center. The bulk of these changes are intended for the next version of Windows (currently Code Named Windows 7) and aim mostly at making the install procedure simpler and more understandable for our less tech-savvy customers. This applies to both making customers more happy but also in an attempt to reduce the volume of calls to the product support hotline. All this Windows 7 work this is something I have been on since almost the beginning of my employment within this division but at this point the bulk of the feature work has been completed and we are focusing on fixing bugs and improving stability.
In addition, I've spent a good amount of time over the past 2 months implementing some new features for the Media Center Extender portion that exits within the new and improved Xbox Dashboard that will be released this fall. I cannot get into much details at the moment since I am unsure of what has been announced. But overall, as with the Windows 7 work, we are improving the setup experience and also adding a few features which should improve the discoverability of the Xbox 360 extender.
Lots of work, very little time. Been somewhat stressful from that point of view as I have been dealing with several overlapping deadlines. Plus, to be honest, my multitasking abilities do let me down on some days...
HEALTH
On another "not so grim" note, my health has been doing better since my last post. After pestering my Dr's to death, they finally took action and ran more tests. Finally, that beats the usual "you're going to have to live with it answer" I have been used to...
For my digestive problems, it turns out I had signs of a bacterial overgrowth. This involves what is called a breath test. The test itself is very easy, you ingest a lactulose sugar based solution and then, you blow into a tube. Yes, that's it. The problem is that you have to repeat the blowing procedure every 20 minutes for a total of three hours! Like I have said, it is quite and easy BUT BORING test. From my understanding, the bad bacteria that can overgrow in your small intestines really likes lactulose and will feed on it like crazy. As a consequence, the bacteria will release some methane as a byproduct which can be measured through your breath. The test measures the variation of your methane level over time and based on the results, the Dr an determine if a bacterial infection may be at the source of my IBS like symptoms.
It does turn out that the test returned positive which was a sigh of relief since there was now a treatment plan that could be taken. The treatment involves the use of an anti-biotic (sorry can't remember the name) which is generally used to cure other type of digestive infections (such as traveler's diarrhea) but at a much higher dose and longer period than normally prescribed. The treatment work great for me at first. However, a few weeks after I had completed it, the symptoms came back slowly and after a few months, back to square one! On the bright side, I will return to see the specialist shortly and maybe the treatment can be retried at a different dosage level...
As for my other general issues (constant tiredness, muscle pain, ...), it turns out that the solution to the majority of the symptoms was just way too simple! Some of the symptoms combined together lit a light bulb in my PCP's head. A quick blood test confirmed her suspicion... Low Vitamin D... The average blood level of a healthy person should be in the 50-60 range, where as in my test it was reported as N/A (which, for this lab, mean a level below 7). This is somewhat scary. Turns out that very low Vitamin D can cause all sorts of problems, including generalized pain, tiredness, sleep disorders,.... I have been taking special supplements for a few months now. Although I do still feel sluggish at times, I do not feel like a cast member of Dawn of the Dead.
My wife's health is fairly good there days. She still has her ups-and-downs but overall she has been pretty stable over the past year or so. Well , except for some expensive dental issues (which will be covered in the next section), she takes care of me more than I take care of her these days.
FINANCES
Ah... Money... This is where my situation becomes much more complicated... Well, to put it in simple terms... WE'RE FLAT BROKE!!!
I know, everybody says the same thing from time to time. However, this time it is beyond bad. A nice combination of bad choices, poor decisions, bad luck and several visits from our friend Murphy has put us in the depths. As with everybody, I have been carrying some debt ever since I have completed high school and this has never really been a problem. I had good paying internships during college, combined with student loans allowed me to easily afford my tuition. Then after college, with always a continuous source of employment, having a few credit cards and the standard car loan we not out of the norm but payments were also within what I could afford.
Everything started to turn sour about 2 years ago. Of course, I did not see it coming, just slowly building up until it recently hit critical mass and my own personal finances just blew up in my face...
Although we did have a fair amount of debt about two years ago, what we owed in payments was around 60% of my take home income, leaving more than enough to enjoy life and not really have to worry. My only regret at the time was that I could have been investing more in my 401K. However, we were living in a townhouse and some members of the HOA were driving us up the all and decided it might be time to move into a real house. Initially, we were not seriously shopping for anything specific but wanted to get a feel for the current market. Although we did not have tons of equity in the townhouse (about 20k for a 320k house), it was enough to cover our moving costs and the house was in a good area and we felt it would be an easy sell.
We probably spent a good two months looking around, we were in no rush... But Mistake #1 happened... We fell in love with this little area around a like, which was about 10 miles from my work. Not that there is anything wrong with a lake, but for one, proximity to water does significantly inflate housing prices. And for two, we became emotionally attached to the area. At that point we were looking at two specific houses. The first one was mid-sized, in fairly good condition and on the market for around 550k. The second one was a little more secluded, larger but also older (hence needing a little more TLC at first) and was priced at 650k.
And here was Mistake #2, we became attached to the more expensive house. But even realistically, the lesser house at 550k was still almost twice what our previous house cost. We were not struggling with the payments on the other one, but in hindsight, the mortgage on the townhouse was at the limit of what is considered reasonable housing expenses (about 1/3 of take home pay). But we decided to move forward anyways and managed to get the price of the second house down to 605k. The house itself had been on the market for several months and the seller was stuck with two mortgages and was getting desperate to sell.
Getting a mortgage on the house was somewhat of s struggle and should have been a sign this was too much house for our budget. And this was Mistake #3... To make the deal happen, we ended up having to go with a non-documented income loan and a interest only payment structure to allow us to afford the payments, with the thought being that we could clear up the rest of our debt by the time the P+I portion of the payment kicked in ~10 years. With the no-documentation loan, I was also able to have my hypothetical home business income factored in (which I estimated at 30k/year at the time). Although the home business income estimate was accurate at the time, it did not account for any fluctuations and difficulties which could arise on that end, but I will talk more about that later...
As for Mistake #4, well decided to move forward with the purchase despite the fact that our townhouse had not yet sold. The market was good at the time and the townhome was priced well and in a good area, it seemed like a good deal. But it wasn't as easy as it sounded, the house sat on the market a few months. We did get three offers, but all of them fell through for odd reasons. At this point, we were fairly strapped as we had two mortgages to pay and used up most of our reserves. At the moment, our real estate agent decided to come through and she purchased the house from us using a "Deed In Lieu". The mortgages would remain in our names for the short term and she would make payments to us. I do not want to call this a mistake since it saved us at the time, but it is something we are still dealing with 20 months later. The agent has paid off the second mortgage on the townhome and the first mortgage is still in our name. She obviously has not managed to sell it yet, and it is understandable under the current market. But this extra mortgage on our credit had made our lives even more difficult.
Now, the house purchase was being completed, and it was time for the inspections... And Mistake #5... Turns out that the inspector was somewhat of a flake and did a fairly poor job. He did point out a few minor problems that are to be expected from an old house. The back patio had some dry rot in some areas, the roof was showing its age and would likely need to be replaced in 3-5 years, the furnace looked old and may need to be changed in a few years. These can all be big problems but were significantly downplayed by the inspector as items that would need attention but nothing immediate. The reality is that all these little items should have raised a red flag. And as we moved into the house, our friend Murphy followed us in.
A few days before our move, once the deal was completed, we ha a roofer come by to fix a few little issues with the roof. Was not supposed to be anything serious. Well in the few days between the closing on the house and the roofer's visit, there was enough rain to cause a portion of the drywall to collapse upstairs. Turns out the roofer found a damaged tile and someone had stuffed a piece of plastic underneath it to "fix" the leak. Also turned out that there are some leaks in the garage and around the skylights and we are still dealing with those as of today. And to add to this, one year after we moved in, our furnace is starting to become very temperamental and would need to be replaced. Ouch!
Now, we go back to about 18 months ago, Mistake #6 (or this one is more a S**t Happens event) occurred...
Without getting into specific details, I fell ill and had to take an extended leave from work. Although I did have short-term disability insurance, I still had to take a 40% pay cut for about 10 weeks. A 40% pay cut may not seem like a lot, but when you are living paycheck to paycheck, this can truly be devastating. Although we did survive and I finally got better, we did have to incur more debt to simply survive through that period.
Shortly after my return to work, my home business started having troubles of its own. There was a certain amount of implied income from the business that was expected since our mortgage was issued on that assumption. However, a large number of sudden returns, combined with a few non-paying customers had left another huge gap in my finances and income. Also, at about the same time, one of our two vehicle’s engine died and left us stranded. The SUV needs a brand new engine, but at about $4000 for the repairs, there are no way this could happen at the time (and has yet to happen still). And of course, this is a car for which we still owe about $8000 at the bank so we are essentially trapped with the car until we can either fix it or somehow dispose of it and repay the loan.
Since then, I have been living paycheck to paycheck, every bonus, ESPP, … Drained automatically into surviving and keeping up with our accumulated debt. Although I knew we were having some problems, I was living day to day like an ostrich with my head in the ground.
Forwarding to the present… Our other car is starting to break down (need a new $2500 catalytic converted), barely making it by paycheck to paycheck, bad customers not paying their large orders or simply defrauding us by using chargebacks on their credit card when we can prove that their order has been delivered to them,… It is just too much and I have finally come out of denial. I cannot deal with the stress anymore, this whole situation is simply making me constantly ill, and driving my quality of life into the ground and I must start taking action in order to dig myself out of the hole.
Of course, there is no magic solution, and this is quite frustrating for someone who like to have a solution and a plan ahead of time. I am reading a few books on the topic and starting to work on the problem. There is unfortunately no quick fix but I now have a better understanding of our situation and some of the steps needed to take care of it. It may take a few years overall, but we’ll get there… One day at a time…
What is my plan? Short term, I am still working on a budget (or I should call it a Spending Plan) so we can at least be balanced at the end of each month instead of digging ourselves deeper into it. But there are obvious money black holes at the moment that will need to be addressed. The first item is our house. We love the house, but the reality is that the mortgage is probably twice of what we should be able to afford. Also, with some many repairs that are needed in the short term, there are no way we can keep up with the maintenance without a significant other source of income. The second item is my home business, especially the online bookstore portion of it. Although it generally nets about $500/month in revenue, it also consumes significant amount of time in regards to dealing with customer service, returns and shipments. In addition, I have had a bad string of non-paying customers over the past year (I am currently owned over $6000) and although most pay in the end, the stress related to the collection process and day-to-day customer service is simply not worth the small reward. There are other smaller projects I could be working on which could generate better income. Therefore, I will likely shut down the bookstore operation over the next few weeks but I do intend to keep the book publishing portion of the business active for at good while, at least until current titles do not sell anymore.
I do feel like I need a small miracle to keep going. But the best I can do right now it to deal with the situation one day at a time and focus on one problem at a time. This keeps me much more focus on making progress towards the solution but also prevents me from feeling so overwhelmed by the overall situation that I feel helpless.